When we unwittingly cause conflict, we are PUSHED to identify ourselves with the vast Divine Self rather than with the confined ego-self.

 

The holidays are a wonderful opportunity to spend time with family and friends. However, they can also expose the conflicts that occur as a natural consequence of existing as an incompletely-evolved human being. Over the past several holidays, my oldest daughter has subtly brought up some of the qualities she finds especially challenging about me. It is good, because she is setting boundaries and letting me know the things I need to change. One is my tendency to talk about topics - in a wider group - that she considers private. At first, I tend to get down on myself because I pride myself in mediating something of the love of God to people - especially to my family. But then I'm forced to recall ALL of the times I cause misunderstanding through my frequent inability to be aware of the boundaries that other people so easily recognize. Or the misunderstandings I cause through carelessly-worded email or Facebook messages. These cases - and others like them - all PUSH me to realize that as long as I identify myself with the bounded ego-self, I will run into trouble. Because we all find ourselves situated within an intricate web of social connections, the opportunities for "rubbing someone the wrong way" are almost limitless. Yesterday I realized with renewed awareness that the only way out of this predicament - for me, at least - is to identify myself less with the "small self" that causes the problems and more with the "large self" which embraces all things in divine Love. For me, this means finding my truest identity in the mirror that wilderness landscapes provide. When I allow my awareness to dissolve, for example, into the vast beauty of the mountains, then I'm better able to accept the fact that my small-self - like that of everyone else within humanity's complicated web of social relations - will inevitably cause conflict now and then. The best thing I can do is to apologize when I communicate poorly or hurt someone, and use the opportunity to fuel a continued practice of identifying myself with the vastness of the Divine self which always beckons to me - from the landscapes I so dearly love - to let go and dissolve in the One who contains us all.

Photo: Rock, a snowbank, and Mount Rainier, Spray Park, Mt. Rainier National Park, CO; July 28, 2013

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