The Importance of Having Our Physical Attractiveness Recognized

While spending time this past weekend hiking and meditating in the golden glory of the changing aspen, I found myself reflecting on the importance - in ALL of us - of knowing that we are physically attractive. Although there is a tendency in traditional spirituality to focus on the passing nature of the body and a corresponding recommendation to focus on the reality of the spirit instead, one of the gifts of our present era is a newfound delight in the beauty of the human body. Speaking personally, I realize that the only way I can experience union with the Goddess - with Gaia, Sophia, Mother Earth - is through my body. And I cannot begin to do this unless I believe my physical being is attractive. Archetypal psychologist James Hillman puts it this way: "Phenomena need not be saved by grace or faith or all-embracing theory. They are saved by our simple gasping at their loveliness. The ahh of wonder, of recognition. The aesthetic response saves the phenomenon, the phenomenon which is the face of the world . . . This is truly the sole and perpetual question every living creature is asking every other: Do you find me beautiful?" In this connection, I recall a passage in one of Richard Rohr's books in which he says: "God is head over heels in love with how you look!"  How amazing!

Rohr also reminds us that "WE human beings carry God's feeling." It is amazing, therefore, how much we NEED each other to appreciate and mirror our own physical attractiveness - and vice versa. In my own case, my mother never really told me I was handsome, and so I've spent the rest of my life trying to deal with that lack. I've encountered many others who struggle with similar frustration, and I believe I probably fell short in this regard in the raising of my own children. I hope now, however, that I can make up for lost time in my previous failures with them.

Physical compliments are so very important to the building up of one another. Somehow, we must begin to set up a society where we can feel free to compliment one another - even physically - in tasteful ways, without the fear of thinking the one offering the compliment is trying to "come on" to the other person. I know my own compliments of others have been mistaken in this way quite a few times during my adult life. I wonder how we might set up a safe container for physical compliments to be given and received? I think this is something we should all consider.

In the meantime, given the fact that we all need positive mirroring, physically as well as spiritually, I've discovered that one way to enhance our own awareness of our attractiveness is to spend time with beautiful things in Nature. Even though many of us may not be known for stunning physical beauty, when we spend extended time with the beauty of the natural world, we begin to absorb that beauty and then carry and radiate it within ourselves, as part of our personality. For myself, that is one of the chief side benefits of photography. As cosmologist Brian Swimme puts it: "Drawn into life by allurement in a thousand different ways, we ourselves then become alluring. Stunned by the fascination permeating the world, we in turn fascinate." What an amazing mirror the beauty of Nature truly is!

May each of us find ways to celebrate the beauty of each other, and so fulfill our part in helping bind together this amazing universe  :)

Photos: Aspen groves in the Rawah Range and in Rocky Mountain National Park, CO, September 18 and 21, 2015

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Others come alive when we see them for who they truly are.

One of the 2nd century Christian mystics we studied in class yesterday - St. Irenaeus of Lyons - says that "The life of humanity is the vision of God." For a contemplative, life would be nothing without this seeing of the Divine in all things through a mind suffused by love. However, we might more accurately say that we come alive because WE are seen by our Source. As Franciscan teacher Richard Rohr says, "The 'beatific vision' is perhaps God looking at us instead of our seeing God." We have this experience during the silence of contemplative prayer, when a nameless magnetic Love wells up from the center of our being and holds us in its embrace. This is the Gaze of God grasping us with love and affirming our own inner beauty and goodness. As a Renaissance mystic named Nicholas of Cusa so aptly says of God: "I AM because You look at me . . . With You, to behold is to give life . . . Feed me with Your gaze, O Lord . . . For with You to see is to cause. Your vision, Lord, is Your essence."

On the other hand, we experience the gaze of the sacred feminine - Sophia, Gaia, Mother Earth, the Goddess - holding us in its loving embrace whenever something beautiful grasps and holds our attention. I especially notice this with photography, when a beautiful tree, rock, mountain, sunset sky, flower or animal grasps ahold of my attention. In both of these cases - with God and Goddess - we come more alive when we are seen for who we really are.

Each of us is meant to mediate this gaze of God and Goddess to one another. When we come alive inside, it is because we are truly SEEN by one another. This seeing awakens us to our own beauty and goodness on a whole new level. In "The Soul's Code," James Hillman puts it this way: "To be is to be perceived . . . Phenomena need not be saved by grace or faith or all-embracing theory. They are saved by our simple gasping at their imaginal loveliness. The AHH of wonder, of recognition. The aesthetic response saves the phenomenon, the phenomenon which is the face of the world."

May each of us this day feed one another - and bring one another to fresh spiritual birth - through the gaze of appreciation and love.

Photos: The same scene viewed on January 13 and 20, 2015, Lory State Park, CO.

Finding the Divine Within Obsessive Desires

Earlier, I mentioned the fact that the thing we usually think of as our individual "self" is actually a web of relations tied to something Larger.  In that post, I called It "Life" or "The World Soul."  In this post, I want to be more specific. Here, I want to say that, as a heterosexual man, this primary Web of relations can be identified as the Sacred Feminine - "Mother Nature," "The Goddess," "Sophia,"  "Earth Woman," "Gaia"  - call her what you will. In any case, my perennial experience is that she CRAVES my attention, especially since - as a human being - I am called to be the major means by which She becomes self-conscious of Her own goodness and beauty.  Last weekend, I backpacked three-thousand feet in elevation gain in order to camp right next to this spectacular meadow of Rosy Paintbrush, located on the west side of the Maroon Bells - Snowmass Wilderness.  While there, I had the distinct impression that the Goddess indwelling that meadow was absolutely OBSESSED with getting my attention, and was therefore packing it with as many expressions of Her rose-hued beauty as possible in order to MAKE ME pay attention to the spiritual reality underlying ALL of matter.

Years ago, I came across a fascinating article by archetypal psychologist James Hillman, in which he offered a convincing interpretation for the reason why so many men in our culture become obsessed with images of human female beauty.  In that article, he mentioned the fact that the Sacred Feminine - whom he referred to as "Aphrodite," the Goddess of love and beauty - has been SO oppressed and ignored by our overly-patriarchal corporate-industrial society, which seems so hell-bent on destroying the natural world, indigenous cultures, and everything that would make us heartfelt and human, that She is currently coming to us in any way she can, DEMANDING that we pay attention to Her.  If we won't recognize Her within the natural world, within our current religious systems, or within our inner lives, then She has to come to us in the areas where we DO allow Her, even if in a distorted way  - within the constant images of beauty produced by our media and entertainment industries, and within a seemingly endless number of internet websites.  In the case of men, She has to OBSESS us with these images of beauty if She is to have any chance at all of getting our attention. 

What the Sacred Feminine really desires, of course - as Hillman points out - is for us to find Her within our imagination, which is and has always been  the lens necessary for discovering Her presence hiding within the entire web of life.  But since we are currently so out of touch with our imaginative, myth-making capacity - something that was a staple of life within all indigenous cultures - She has to appear to us within LITERAL images of the feminine.  However, all the while, as Hillman points out, She hopes we'll tire of mere literalism and seek Her in a deeper, more imaginative way.  As Hillman's friend, Thomas Moore once put it: "The mystery of male sexuality is not to be found and lived in literal gender and literal sex.  The Other can only be loved and pleasured when one has discovered the cosmic couple, inside oneself and in the world at large.  Only when the male and female have coupled in out-buildings and economies and schools and politics will the god and goddess take their long night together with us."

What I find so liberating about this kind of insight is the realization that male desire - or ANY desire, for that matter - can be treated not merely as an aspect of the ego-self but as a quasi-independent Presence who desperately needs us to pay It our full attention.  Hillman calls this "finding the gods in the disease." When we identify our own emotions as OURS alone, we find ourselves struggling and struggling with them, without any real victory.  However, if we instead view our most challenging emotions as PRESENCES who desperately need our attention and help in bringing them into full, conscious self-awareness, then we suddenly begin to feel empowered to spring into action in order to HELP THEM OUT.  In other words, instead of beating ourselves up for our obsessions and addictions, it begins to dawn on us that they are presences who NEED OUR HELP!.  Jungian analyst Marion Woodman says something similar with regard to alcoholism and eating disorders.  In the case of alcohol (which we tellingly call "spirits") the much-neglected spiritual dimension of our lives is calling out to be recognized and brought to the fore.  And with eating disorders, the spiritual presence indwelling food (and all of matter) is - Woodman tells us - trying to get our attention in order to prod us into bringing its sacredness to the fore within our unbalanced corporate-industrial culture.

Some of the medieval mystics said something similar regarding the masculine aspect of the Divine; that is, of God.  For example, Mechthild of Magdeburg, a 13th century German Beguine mystic, tells us that "we must guard ourselves against Divine fervour,” which obsesses us with the desire for union.  In fact, she says that God tells her: “I must protect you from inordinate desire, both yours and MINE.”  Otherwise, we burn up in our desire for union with the Beyond.

I find this kind of vision incredibly liberating.  Instead of feeling isolated in my struggles with male longing - which I usually think of merely as MY desire and MY problem - I am instead able to view it as a spiritual presence - a quasi-independent being who indwells my desire - one that is trying to get my attention in order to have me help It - or Her - become more self-conscious of Its own beauty and goodness spread throughout ALL  the Earth and human culture.  And in that Rose Paintbrush meadow where I camped last weekend, the Goddess definitely went ALL OUT in Her desire to get my attention!

Photo: Rosy Paintbrush meadow; Silver Creek Basin, Maroon Bells - Snowmass Wilderness, CO; August 9, 2014

Things are "saved' by our simple gasping at their loveliness.

"Phenomena need not be saved by grace or faith or all-embracing theory . . . They are saved by our simple gasping at their imaginal loveliness.  The AHH of wonder, of recognition.  The aesthetic response SAVES the phenomenon, the phenomenon which is the face of the world . . . So we seek lovers and mentors and friends that we may be seen, and blessed."

James Hillman

Photo: A Chokecherry leaf glows in last light, as though it were being seen and admired by the Sun; Lory State Park, CO; October 22, 2012

The Greek word "kosmos" [cosmos] is an aesthetic term, related to the word "cosmetics."

" 'Kosmos' is an aesthetic term [a Greek word] which can best be translated as 'fitting order' . . . The verb KOSMOS means 'to arrange, adorn, furnish.'  Our word COSMETICS is closer to the original atmosphere of 'kosmos' than is the Latinate 'universe' . . . Without the aesthetic . . . connotations contained in 'kosmos,' the word today refers only to a vast gasbag, outer, empty, spacey and cold."

James Hillman

Photo: Lemmon's Paintbrush and the Echo Peaks, Yosemite National Park, CA; July 28, 2012

Phenomena are "saved" when we gasp at their loveliness with the ahh of wonder.

"Phenomena need not be saved by grace or faith or all-embracing theory.  They are saved by our simple gasping at their imaginal loveliness.  The ahh of wonder, of recognition.  The aesthetic response saves the phenomenon, the phenomenon which is the face of the world."

James Hillman

"We are saved when we see our own beauty in the display of everyday life.  We find our own face, the unique visage of our soul, in the world's display of itself."

Thomas Moore

Photo: Indian Paintbrush and the beautiful teal-colored Mirror Lake, Flat Tops Wilderness, CO; June 10, 2012