The
other day, I watched a documentary about Deepak Chopra, filmed by his
son. One of the points made by Chopra throughout the movie was the idea
that the spiritual quest is inherently tied to the question: "Who am
I?" The quest for the true self as an unchanging, unborn and undying
reality seems to be at the crux of many Eastern paths, including the one
Deepak Chopra is following.
Yesterday, hiking through the snow
and mist up in the nearby mountains, I realized that for me, the true
self is actually quite elusive and mysterious. As a Christian
contemplative, I've found that "kenosis" - the Greek word for
self-emptying - is perhaps the most important answer I can give to the
question "Who am I?" The path on which I've been lead involves the
practice of identifying with a spacious mind and heart, one in which
both God - the transcendent source - and myself are LOST together in
self-emptying bliss. Out of this vastness - a spaciousness whose other
name is LOVE - all beings and all phenomena come popping out during each
millisecond of time, like echoes of an unspoken Divine Word arising out
of nowhere. Thus, the reality of the "true self" - here, at least - is
more a mysterious space where all of creation can occur, than a reality
in and of itself.
The path of Christian Mysticism also
emphasizes another realization; namely, that the true self is innately
RELATIONAL. In an interesting dialogue between Robert Aitken Roshi and
Brother David Steindl-Rast (a Benedictine monk), Steindl-Rast quotes
William of St. Thierry, who says: "What you can grasp gives you
knowledge. What grasps YOU makes you wise." Aitken agrees, and goes on
to quote Dogen Zenji, who exclaimed: "That the self advances and
confirms the ten thousand things is called delusion. That the ten
thousand things advance and confirm the self is called enlightenment."
When we try to grasp at (or avoid) things, we are subconsciously trying
to shore up the seeming solidity of the false self. However, when we
allow those same things to grasp US (or to playfully push us away!) -
that is, to grasp our awareness - we start to become who we are truly
meant to be: a transparent "eye" through which all things can come to
know and appreciate their own majesty and beauty.
That is
definitely the case with my photography. It is not a matter of ME
deciding to photograph this or that. Rather, those things - whether it
be a mountain peeriing out of the mist, a snow-bedecked evergreen, or a
wide-open sky - begin to grasp ahold of me (and my camera) in order to
express and know their own beauty and goodness through my perception and
appreciation! As Thomas Berry says: "The human is called to be the
mind and heart of the universe." Here again, the true self is found in
being emptied out into the world, where it serves as a vehicle for the
Cosmos - and for the Creator and Mother Earth - to know and appreciate
themselves.
There is, of course, a place for the ego in all of
this. Although the goal is for the ego - i.e., the solid, bounded sense
of self - to become translucent to the Greater Whole (to become "a
transparent eyeball," as Emerson famously put it), it is NEEDED to help
discern the unique ways in which WE are meant to serve this seeing. In
other words, each of us is called to become a different lens onto the
Whole. Each of us is meant to focus that "eye" on a different aspect of
the cosmos. For me, that usually involves Western landscapes,
contemplative insights, and an understanding of the various personality
types we human beings manifest during our time here on Earth. For
another person, the transparent lens may, for example, focus on those
who are sick, in jail, oppressed, or poor. For another, the lens may
focus on scientific or mechanical pursuits.
The temptation, of
course, is to allow OTHERS to tell us how we should focus our gifts.
The function of a strong ego is to form a boundary that says "No" to the
intrusive expectations of others (and to our own superficial desires),
and "Yes" to the true inner promptings that lead us into the ways in
which we are meant to focus our own unique gifts. In fact, every
contemplative I've ever known possesses a strong ego. They closely
guard their space, possess intense discipline, and don't easily let
others - or the society - intrude on their inner territory. But the
ultimate goal, of course, is for this boundary-setting ego to become
transparent to a vision on the Greater Whole.
May each of us
discover the unique ways in which WE are called to serve as the vast,
self-emptying love out of which all creation emerges, and as the
one-of-a-kind lens through which the cosmos can become aware of its own
great goodness and beauty!
Photos: (Top) Limber Pine trunk, with
rock spires fading in and out of the mist, Emerald Lake; (Middle)
Lodgepole Pine bedecked in snow; (Bottom) A rock, Bear Lake, and
Hallett Peak. All three photos were taken in Rocky Mountain National
Park (CO) on November 24, 2014
