While spending time this past weekend hiking and meditating in the golden glory of the changing aspen, I found myself reflecting on the importance - in ALL of us - of knowing that we are physically attractive. Although there is a tendency in traditional spirituality to focus on the passing nature of the body and a corresponding recommendation to focus on the reality of the spirit instead, one of the gifts of our present era is a newfound delight in the beauty of the human body. Speaking personally, I realize that the only way I can experience union with the Goddess - with Gaia, Sophia, Mother Earth - is through my body. And I cannot begin to do this unless I believe my physical being is attractive. Archetypal psychologist James Hillman puts it this way: "Phenomena need not be saved by grace or faith or all-embracing theory. They are saved by our simple gasping at their loveliness. The ahh of wonder, of recognition. The aesthetic response saves the phenomenon, the phenomenon which is the face of the world . . . This is truly the sole and perpetual question every living creature is asking every other: Do you find me beautiful?" In this connection, I recall a passage in one of Richard Rohr's books in which he says: "God is head over heels in love with how you look!" How amazing!
Rohr also reminds us that "WE human beings carry God's feeling." It is amazing, therefore, how much we NEED each other to appreciate and mirror our own physical attractiveness - and vice versa. In my own case, my mother never really told me I was handsome, and so I've spent the rest of my life trying to deal with that lack. I've encountered many others who struggle with similar frustration, and I believe I probably fell short in this regard in the raising of my own children. I hope now, however, that I can make up for lost time in my previous failures with them.
Physical compliments are so very important to the building up of one another. Somehow, we must begin to set up a society where we can feel free to compliment one another - even physically - in tasteful ways, without the fear of thinking the one offering the compliment is trying to "come on" to the other person. I know my own compliments of others have been mistaken in this way quite a few times during my adult life. I wonder how we might set up a safe container for physical compliments to be given and received? I think this is something we should all consider.
In the meantime, given the fact that we all need positive mirroring, physically as well as spiritually, I've discovered that one way to enhance our own awareness of our attractiveness is to spend time with beautiful things in Nature. Even though many of us may not be known for stunning physical beauty, when we spend extended time with the beauty of the natural world, we begin to absorb that beauty and then carry and radiate it within ourselves, as part of our personality. For myself, that is one of the chief side benefits of photography. As cosmologist Brian Swimme puts it: "Drawn into life by allurement in a thousand different ways, we ourselves then become alluring. Stunned by the fascination permeating the world, we in turn fascinate." What an amazing mirror the beauty of Nature truly is!
May each of us find ways to celebrate the beauty of each other, and so fulfill our part in helping bind together this amazing universe :)
Photos: Aspen groves in the Rawah Range and in Rocky Mountain National Park, CO, September 18 and 21, 2015
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I am available for one-on-one spiritual direction / mentoring via phone or Skype. You can contact me at canyonechoes@gmail.com if you are interested. The rate is $65 per hour-long session. You might also want to check out my Spiritual Direction with Stephen Hatch Facebook page.
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