I spent the second day of my solitary desert retreat hiking in Chesler Park and on The Joint Trail. After a gorgeous sunset, I ate supper and then settled down with a mug of coffee next to the campfire.
For the next five hours, I alternately meditated, read, journaled, prayed, and did contemplative walks on the campground access road.
During one journaling session, I realized that I'd been neglecting my 15-year-long practice of finding the Sacred within the energy of eros. A year and a half ago, I was criticized for an article I wrote in which I was attempting to develop meditative spiritual practices that would seek to uncover the Sacred Feminine - the Goddess, Gaia, Sophia - from within the energy of desire itself.
Over the past several years, I've discovered that many people in our current society recoil at the thought that one could actually find sacred feminine or masculine traits. In their minds, only individuals exist, to the exclusion of universal gendered energies or traits. In the aftermath of the article, I was also criticized for attempting to find sacredness within the energy of male desire as a means of disciplining and transforming it. I therefore shelved the entire project, and moved on to other things.
However, as I took a walk that night, it struck me that I've been given a unique gift. Imperfect though its expression might be, I am still called to integrate the energy of eros - and of masculine and feminine energies - into the spiritual path. In fact, I must DEFEND this path against corrosion by the acid of doubt and criticism.
Just as this thought about inner warriorhood crossed my mind, I looked up at the constellation Orion, and discovered a bright meteor streaking downward from the lower part of the belt! I immediately realized this was a sign that I needed to activate my inner warrior energy in order to defend the calling I've been given! Since that meaningful occurrence, I've found a new confidence in living and practicing the vision of eros that I've been uniquely given.
Photos: (Top) Sunlight penetrates The Joint; Canyonlands National Park, UT, November 28, 2014; (Middle) A Canyonlands sunset, November 28, 2014; (Bottom) A Bing.com photo of Orion and a meteor streak
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