Maintaining a Lighter Touch on Human Mirroring

 

Last week, I mentioned the fact that each of us is not actually an individual self. Rather, our identity consists in being MIRRORED positively by others, and they - in turn - by us. In other words, our identity is actually a WEB of relations. In that post, I also pointed out that people cannot serve as the primary mirror because the reflection process is rooted in something much more cosmic - in a Divine Reality that goes beyond particulars. However, here I want to add that the need for these other mirrors - the ones that you and I become for one another - does not thereby disappear. Rather, when we look to the larger Divine Presence for the primary mirroring, we are then able to maintain a lighter touch on the people in our lives. We begin to appreciate the fact that they are meant to serve only as fragments of a larger Mirror, or as a window through to that Mirror. As a result, we stop hanging on for dear life to the affirmations people give us, while at the same time cultivating an attitude of gratitude and appreciation for the mirroring that they ARE able to embody in our lives. In addition, we also learn that the mirrors formed by other people may shift from day to day. For example, one person may serve as today's mirror fragment, while another may serve that role tomorrow. And they, ideally, will discover something similar with regard to OUR OWN mirroring capacity. However, I must admit that I do have a desire to serve as a more stable mirror for others, especially in a world where so many people succumb to bitter feelings when the various interpersonal mirrorings they've experienced throughout their lifetime have so consistently failed them. I also want to recognize that the need for human mirroring is especially true for children, who have not yet learned to find a Larger Mirror and who, as a result, are so vulnerable to the failings of parents, family and friends. I want to apologize for the multitude of occasions on which I have failed in my calling to mirror the True Self in the lives of family members and friends. May each of us measure up more consistently to that calling!

Photo: Mount Rainier mirrored in Reflection Lakes; Mt. Rainier National Park, WA; July 27, 2014