Taking all of the blame is just as egoic as thinking we are "God's gift to the world."

Yesterday as I marveled at the multitude of "ice waves" spreading out on a beautiful subalpine lake, I suddenly received an insight into an issue I've been struggling with.

Often when there is a misunderstanding between me and someone else - or when I'm accused by someone of doing something wrong - I take all of the blame upon myself. This occurs especially with the experience of rejection, when I generally adopt the stance that the relational malfunction is all MY fault. However, it suddenly occurred to me that this attitude - although it may seem at the time to be noble and honorable - is actually quite egoic. To think that something is all MY fault is just the flip side of thinking that I am God's most important gift to the world. Both involve separating one's self out from the Whole, and in putting all of the emphasis on oneself.

In the context of rejection, I have a more adequate conception of the situation when I realize that while - on the one hand - I am perhaps perceived by the other person as being filled with flaws, on the other hand, they are also missing out on all that I have to offer. In any case, each of us is always part of a whole network of interwoven factors. We never stand alone. Like the multitude of ice waves on a mountain lake, we are all constituent parts of the situation. Here I'm reminded of a wonderful quote by the Dalai Lama. He says: "Guilt does not exist in Buddhist terminology. With the Buddha nature all negative things can be purified. Guilt is incompatible with our thinking, as you are part of an action but not fully responsible for it. You are just part of the contributing factor."

Photo: "Ice waves" on Dream Lake at sunset, Rocky Mountain National Park, CO, February 2, 2015