There will always be a need for those of us who are societal misfits. Awkward on one level, we provide our deepest gifts to others when in solitude!

Paradoxically, when I'm in solitude, I experience the deepest possible communion with people. There, my core and their core are absolutely one. But when I'm interacting with people in daily life, things often seem amiss. I'm either too sensitive or not sensitive enough. I ask questions in the wrong way, which often makes people feel intruded upon. Then, when I withdraw in order to give them their space, they ask if something is wrong. If people are overly intense and serious, I suddenly become the trickster, and come off as silly and insincere. However, if people are more lighthearted, I then seem too intense by comparison, too "spiritual." When I'm in the big city, watch out! I generally feel depressed and out of sorts, a rather bothersome trait. On the other hand, I love to give compliments, but when I offer them - especially to people of the opposite sex - they often mistakenly think I'm trying to "get" something from them. In reality, I simply enjoy giving compliments as a worthy end in itself. But it's impossible to state this principle to another person without making them feel uncomfortable. In my ideal world, everyone could offer compliments - even physical compliments - without anyone feeling that something was expected of them. After all, in our deepest core, we are ALL hungry for affirmation! Fortunately, those who love me accept my rather unconventional personality, warts and all. But when I'm in solitude, I suddenly blossom. It is there that I experience the most intimate connection with people. There, the core of my being interfuses with the core of everyone else. It is there that I can pray for people, offer them my blessing, and commune with them on the deepest level. I suppose there will always be a need for those of us who are "misfits" in society. Clumsy on the level of social interaction, we will always be needed to provide a deeper communion when in solitude. Indeed, that is what most of the monks and contemplatives I know are like, and I guess I - for good or for ill - am like that, too!

Photo: Lichen rock, with one of the Pawnee Buttes in the distance; Weld County, CO; June 16, 2014